Tootin' my Own Horn

This was a response I posted on another blogger's site. He wrote an op-ed about how ESPN is a self-aggrandizing jam.

My response:
Let's be honest with ourselves for a moment.... shall we? ESPN is what the other half of the world follows, aside from day-time soaps. As I age, I hope that my viewership of ESPN will become "my stories." You know, "grandkid, hush your sweet little voice. Granny needs you to turn up those nice young guys on PTI." ESPN is absolutely, one hundred percent, self-indulgent. I have to bribe the other couch owner in my household to sit through it at times. Sure ESPN is flashy and cheeky (and as aforementioned, over-inflated) but WE LOVE IT, CAN'T GET ENOUGH and occasionally come out with real news.

Americans don't want to hear about cricket scores or Japanese soccer leagues - that's what strange concoctions of cable/satellite packages are for. Americans want to hear about American sports. So what do we fill the gaps with? What could we possibly do between closed out innings, championships to pre-seasons (nod to the Saints), slams and tourneys? Wish and pray and hope for overtimes (nod to the Syracuse squad 2009)?

We do all of the above yet we are not fulfilled. Scene 2, enter ESPN. Like the uncle totally full of himself between the turkey dinner and the left-over hoagie, relaying some bull-sh*t story of his latest escapades, we turn to ESPN. We turn to ESPN for the story-lines. We flip to ESPN for something to talk about at the water-cooler. Most importantly we turn to ESPN to satisfy our need in the downtime. So, thank you ESPN. Thank you for keeping my stories alive.